Me and God have a special, personal relationship. I remember when I was feeling deeply hurt, depressed and alone, I ask God to court me like a lover would. I wanted God to use his supernatural powers to show me the heavenly love I couldn’t find in a significant other on earth. During those tough times, I didn’t need God the father, or God the friend, no, I needed God the Bridegroom. My beloved is mine and I am his type of love.
My prayers were slowly answered as I started to notice the random niceness from strangers all around me. A random person would hand me a flower in the street, or a kind old man would tell me I was beautiful in a non-creepy way when I felt my worst. It took me a minute, but eventually I understood that God is constantly courting my affections and my heart, and my soul rested in His pursuit.
As I’ve begun to finally experience love from a flesh and blood partner, I’ve observed it’s really difficult for me to pray around him. I feel almost embarrassed inviting him into my prayer life. And it has nothing to do with my comfort level with him either!
Outside of church, my family and my close friends, I have never prayed with a partner before. There is another level of intimacy sitting at the feet of God with your significant other. And because I’ve held this sacred space alone for so long, I didn’t know how to make room for another person to share it.
This isn’t to say I HAVE to share the space. Don’t get me wrong. I know there are parts of my heart that only God knows, and I’m comforted by that.
But I’d like to be able to openly pray over him versus shyly whispering my deepest thoughts at night as we sleep. There is power in the tongue, and my goal is that those words be spoken loudly throughout our time together.
